“ Why do I feel so optimistic?
I have nothing.
I am an ordinary person, a tiny part of this nature.
So what! Don’t I have boundless energy within?”
I am a Telugu (1) writer, born in a village between two rivers (2), perhaps, I am a person who draws inspiration from the village within.
I am a writer and I am a woman. I have experienced the politics of gender like any other Indian woman but, it’s my writing abilities that helped me to stand up and express myself.
Nature, women and children walk with me in my silent pursuit.
I understand that ,
Being a writer is a humble expression of being myself.
Being a writer challenged me to reflect on the diverse situations I was never aware of earlier. I had to think multiple times and very closely. I have to be cautious about the usage of each and every word.
Being a writer developed sensitivity in my outlook and greatly demanded my inner strength. I am often expected to live larger than life. I have compromised beyond necessary and tried to understand the human relations more than needed.
Being a writer ,I had to think multiple times and cautious about each and every word. It sensitive my out look and often demanded inner strength. I am expected to live larger than life. compromised beyond necessary. Tried to understand relations more than needed.
I had to walk an extra mile. Climb the tallest hill around and humble down to the lowest possible.
My suffering, agony and pain were more than reality and my understanding ultimately concluded in conflict with the patriarchal hegemony.
This conflict is not only with is not merely with the system around me ,my family, my culture but, it was within me. My constant struggle inner struggle raised multiple questions within ,demanded more clarity ,challenged my abilities ,put forwarded my limitations ,realized my strength .My clear urge for the change and the comfort I eventually visualized ,is humbly expressed in my fistful of words.
Most of the times overlook or ignore the habitual expressions of patriarchal traits. But, it concluded in more conflict. I feel terribly sad about the people who are lost in their “gentlemen closet” and who miserably fail to realize the human subtleties and eventually losing access to the normal, simple and beautiful life .In a way , I tried to explore the humanness in those lost souls as Poet Vemana rightly said, “Punya purusha “among men is always different!
I have observed the popular confusion in the acceptance of my simultaneous existence as a writer and a woman .This confusion may be rooted in the blurred definition of the subjectivity of the writer and the objectivity of the writing .
The suppression and the biased outlook of the society was very subtle and creative.
I came across angry call outs ,” You writer !’
And disgusting and unpleasant references in unbelievable tones “ You .. being a woman …!”
I think, being a writer is my expression of internalized identity crisis and being a woman is an externalized quest for humanness.
The story I am going to present today ,is written and published in 1994. In this early writing ,I tried to express the glimpse of the deep rooted cultural discrimination of “being a girl child “.
This story, ”Genesis” is originally published in Telugu with the title “ఆరంభం “ which is translated by Dr.Sujatha Gopal and published in “ Muse India . “
The translated story can be found here :
Related link : http://chandralata.blogspot.in/2014/03/blog-post_10.html
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